Well this lasted all of twelve seconds.

I want to go back home.

It took me a while...

... to arrive at this conclusion, but I figure that it's the right one. I mean I spent a hell of a long time thinking about this. I don't think I'm ready for any kind of relationship. I don't know how long I kept thinking about the people I've liked and gone out with just over and over. All about how I should have done it better. You can't carry that kind of stuff into a relationship, it's not fair to the other person. When you expect to fail you are more often than not greeted with it. But I still don't know how I'm going to deal with the people that I may fall for. I mean... Eugh I don't know what I mean. I know how it is in my head but when I type it or when I try to explain it it just comes out a garbled mess. Everyone is entitled to a little time being morose aren't they? I just don't know whether feeling that I was meant for something more than this is really something I believe or just me being conceited.

I've had voices in my head for a while now, then moved in at adolescence. They remind you that you should be acting better than normal because I pretty girl just walked in, they remind you that nobody laughed at your joke and now you look like a prick. They remind you that you are a nobody. Just another face in the crowd of people that wouldn't know your name or care. I don't think I'm mad. Everyone has those voices, but I gave mine shape and form and I let them dictate how I act for a very long time now. And I will probably still listen because hell what else do I have.

I whine to much. But where else do I go? Some days I do think I'm losing my god dam mind. And some days I figure that losing my mind is far to melodramatic for me.

Fuck you life, you have this terrible habit of confusing me so badly.