I once made fun of Micheal.

I made fun of him for his blog slowly devolving from a text based one to where he only ever reblogged things and rarely very rarely posted original things. To me it felt like, way back when, that me and Micheal were reading auxiliary information about each other, information that we didn't need to tell each other but we still found interesting. Along with talking about our feelings which we did frequently, or at least I did. Now his tumblr is just sitting there and my blog is as well. But mines lying there because there is nothing to write. I am not doing anything, I am not feeling anything strongly enough yet, I am not finished enough of my new idea. Yes another idea.

So I'm sitting at home cleaning and playing video games. It's like school days except without school. I am infatuated with a girl who I don't know that well and lives in Wellington. And I'm writing about an AI dealing with emotions.

My mum suggested I go stay with a friend over the weekend. But it's awkward because we are at opposite ends of our friend group. You know how there are some friends who are only around because of your friends and you don't have that much in common so you don't talk that much. Yeah we are as far away from each other in that spectrum as you can get. He is still an awesome guy and no disrespect to him but I feel like we just don't have that much in common compared to my other friends.

I was thinking about making this thing public, like attaching it to my Facebook and stuff. But the. I realized that others of my religion might look down on my use of curse words. I don't care about them but it might offend some people so I think it's best if it stay anonymous. Hell my viewers will have either got bored of waiting or moved. Micheal has a chance of reading this but I think that Rachel and Tania will have fallen off the map. So here's some secrets, Tania I original led moved to your table so I could try to make a move on you. Of course that never happened, or it did, kind of. But still we ended up friends so I'm not complaining. Rachel you were what I am now terming a blindside, I was completely focused on another girl and then wham I met you. It was a blessing twofold, because I realize now that I did not like the girl in hindsight and I ended up with you.

Tania I don't want us to stop being friends because I don't see you anymore.
Rachel, well same as above. Only now I feel guilty about not writing it out in full. But you ended up with a longer sentence so it's fine.

I'm supposed to be finding a job.

But in all honesty I really don't want to. I've never got a job before except for with my uncle and I actually just showed up at work one day with my brother. I feel like it will make me seem really foolish walking up to somebody in a store and saying, "Hey can I have a job?" But on the other hand it also is a real strain on my mother having me mope around the house. I got mocked by someone asking if I needed someone to hold my hand but in all honesty that would probably help. Ideally someone would find me a job, but nobody is going to do that for me. People talk about going man mode and I have no problems whatsoever putting myself into situations where I may be physically hurt. But I can be socially inept and stamina has always been a problem of mine.

I'm steadily writing again because it gets me out of job hunting. Im sad.