It's Mine nobody else's.

I'm a selfish bastard sometimes but this time it's mine. Nobody gets to see it until I'm good and ready. NOBODY. I know I want people to think I'm a good writer and sometimes you want people to see that. But this is to personal.

I need to calm down. I'm getting hysterical. Nobody even knew about it before this.

It's to personal. It's the truth honest and simple. And I don't think I'm ready for people to know some truths about me. Especially Micheal and Rachel and Tania. I know you are the only people who read this but when I write something on this it's open to the world. This is a record of thoughts, feelings, ideas that I see fit to render unto the world. If I want to say something to you then I would just say it. But will I really. Or will I just sit there a smile on my face and tell you bullshit.

I can be a bad friend at times. But I don't want to be. I've done bad things before. Things that it pains me to think about. Things that I will always regret no matter what good deed I do to clear my conscience. I am haunted by the ghosts of past wrongs and I can only sit here and whine about it. I am self righteous, arrogant and self pitying. All in all I think I should be flattered you stick around. I have done all these things and now I cast them out without even revealing one truth about them. I'm seeking only pity.

And that is incredibly unattractive.