Today I asked myself a question

It's a question that I have asked myself many many times but have never really got the right answer to. The question is this, "Why do you enjoy playing games so much?" I've come up with answers before but I never really was happy with them.

One answer is that the games are so much more interesting than life itself. But that's not entirely true. Some games are really boring. But that's not what I meant. I meant that it's not entirely the answer I'm looking for. Sure games are incredibly interesting, they're designed that way. If a game wasn't interesting it wouldn't be made or sold, with the exception of some political and racial movement supporting games and some incredibly bad decisions on some publishers parts. And every game is tailored to a particular market, which is why I think that Dead Space 2 is one of the better games out there and my friend Horowai thinks that it's horrible and scary and wouldn't play it. Mind you he is a wet blouse sometimes, that's not to insult him or anything like that, simply a statement that he scares incredibly easily. Perhaps I should have phrased it better, but I digress. It's a good answer and it can be considered true when you consider the parts but I don't think it is my answer.

Another is that it's a way for me to hide from the world. For me this is more relevant. So the answer is more true. However I don't hide from the world every day. In fact I frequently embrace it. I go to school and visit people when I have the time (and their address). I play sports, I socialize. But I do go home and play games for hours on end because it enables me to escape some of the more stressful parts of my life. Because I know that in a game what matters for the most part is the skill level of me, and a select few around me. There are no external factors like the weather, close friends feelings, employers feelings. The decisions I make affect my world and only my world so this spares others from any potentially poor decisions that I may make. It's a closed world where I can get things wrong as much as I want and I can start again. In real life we get one chance, there are no quick saves and quick loads, no checkpoints and no reset button.

And last of all. It's a bad habit. An addiction same as smoking or drugs. But it doesn't keep me up at night, I don't go to sleep wishing I was still playing. I don't get unbearable cravings to play. I do sometimes want to play games but they can wait, I don't fake sick to stay home and play games. It's not an addiction that I can tell. It's a hobby I enjoy and am able to frequently partake of.

So I don't have an answer. Not one I'm happy with anyway. The closest I've come is they're an escape for me. But that's not trues because I do face my problems when I'm good and ready. So maybe they are just a placeholder. Something for me to focus my attention on while I try and figure out a problem.

There we have it.