I read many things this is one of them...

http://www.reignofgaming.net/news/20807-what-i-learned-about-myself-in-the-last-6-months
It means nothing to a lot of people. It's about League which makes less people interested and Elementz is one of the characters in the league scene that everyone either seems to love or hate. Personally I'm a fan. I think he's still one of the best supports even after being benched from CLG and Curse's apparent lack of success. But this is his story about what happened to him during his time at CLG and Curse.

You should read it even if you don't like League or even care about gaming. But for those of you who won't here's a cut down version. He was demoted to support and his heart wasn't in it. He couldn't succeed at that role because he didn't feel like he wanted it. After getting benched he found his fire, he wanted to be the best support to show what CLG were now missing. He then talks about how you need to be passionate about what you do otherwise you won't be happy.

" You need to be confident. You need to have something to prove. You need to have something to STRIVE for! That's when you'll unlock the best you have to offer. When you're emotionally connected to what you're doing and what you love to do that's where true success shines through and I've got a lot to prove not only to myself, but to this community."


 This is probably the most important part of this article in my opinion. And when I read this I doubt myself. I'm not emotionally connected to much and success hasn't been a faithful companion these days. I'm rarely confident except on the outside and there's not much to strive for here.

Tonight I logged onto league because I thought that it would be a good time to get more IP in time to buy Ezreal who is getting a cool skin soon. But I stopped after two games and then it took me another hour to play again. This time with my friends. We won but I didn't feel like I'd done anything. And then I did something I abhor and I hate myself for it. I went looking for approval and praise. This should be earned not looked for. But I did it anyway. I should be happy with my performance unless there's something drastically wrong with it.

Times like those I hate myself.