Living, breathing, maybe dying.

You die a little bit at a time. Slowly, ever so slowly. I want so much to be with my girlfriend. But I know I can't. And that's what hurts the most. It's like something dies every time I let her out of my sight. I didn't want this to be a "I miss my girlfriend, boo hoo me" post but it's slowly turning into one.

Unless i can turn the topic away. But that's not easy for me. For all the imagination I suppose I have I still get fixed on an idea. Once I want it, think about it, write about it. It's hard to get out of my head.

But here's a thought. Looking at mine and my friends blogs I've noticed something. My friend posts when he has something to say. It may not always be meaningful but he still says it. My girlfriend posts when she has something meaningful to say. I post every odd day whether I have something to say or not. It's weird, i feel unsatisfied compared to the other blogs when I'm the one with the most posts. Mind you quantity isn't exactly a substitute for quality.

Maybe one day I'll look at this blog and wonder... what I was doing, where I was going? But there's one thing I'm hoping for against all hope. A friend read my palm today. A friend external of my blogging circles and he told me that I'm going to fall in love with three girls. I don't want this to happen. I want to stay with my girlfriend. Childhood romances only ever work out as long as the movie lasts generally but I desperately want this. It's all I ever wanted. She's all I ever wanted. Someone to love who loves me back just as much.

Just looking down my chat sidebar. I still have a version of old Facebook chat thanks to the browser I use. Whoo Rockmelt. And I notice my girlfriends best friend. Who also lives in palmy.

(For those of you who haven't noticed I tend to avoid using names. Like the plague. In fact I never do it.)

Facebook friends whoo, because that means so much. I don't understand the craze with friends. Yus I barely know you, or I've seen you once before. I mean I'm friends with someone I've never even met. They friended me because I was helping them with a game and now they don't even play. What's the point in staying friends? And don't get me wrong, my girlfriends best friend is a nice gal and all but the only reason I ever talked to her was because it would have been awkward not to. I feel really bad saying it. I shall endeavor to do more, but then again my attention span is zero and my short term memory is even worse. So I'll try but I might forget to try. If that makes sense.

Lots of waffling here. Mmmm waffles. I want some now. But i am also lazy. So no waffles.

Okay now the post has wandered from the mildly interesting to the entirely deranged. I am not a concentrated man. yes I'm spread out over a large area and it takes effort for me to pull myself together. Okay that was bad, stemming from a lapse in concentratio...phone. thank you blog for enabling me to text my girlfriend back. And with that lapse...

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