I get lonely easily.

When I say lonely I mean for my friends. I have to live with my family so I take the time spent with them for granted. But I love spending time with my friends. That's what I mean by I get lonely easily. And to an extent I miss my worlds a lot as well. I get lonely for their company as well. Which explains my penchant for daydreaming.

I feel like writing my Phase story again. Seeing as it was based on me and now I have more chapters to add. But unless you want to read it you don't have to. So it won't be posted. I know Micheal will want to read it so a copy goes to him, but otherwise well it seems the best idea to just let the story stay with me. I remember writing two and a half phases but the half phase doesn't go where I want it to now. I assume it did back then but now it doesn't. So it died. That Phase was called rebound and it seems oddly applicable. That is to say, it fits what I now want to write.

The story was supposed to get more fictional in and after the third phase but that plan kinda went south, maybe fourth or fifth phase I'll start getting economical with the truth. Or maybe I won't the stuff that's happened inside my head during these times seems interesting enough to me at the moment. I have no idea about anybody else's opinion but out of all I've ever written this was always supposed to be the most self serving.

I suppose it serves others in a round about way. It shows people my view of whatever has happened. Albeit a romanticized view. And now must needs be an apology. In my fervor to serve myself inside this story I have forgotten someone. And this will be rectified.

I should put a shirt on. Better yet I should go to be and sleep. But I've been having trouble staying asleep. Getting to sleep is easy. You close you eyes, slow your breathing and shut down your thoughts. You can't force it. It has to just drop off. Which is why they recommend reading before bed. Because it's easy to let go of a story than it is your own life. But you also have to be careful what you read. For if it bares to much of a resemblance to your life then you can't help but draw comparisons, hence linking your life and experiences to the book, hence making you thinking about your life making it harder for you to just let it go.

"The end is all I can see and it scares the hell out of me."
Except for me this becomes, "I can't see anything and it scares the hell out of me."