Dominion, Dominion, Dominion, Dominion.

Thank you for the title micheal. It's magnificent. Anyway the new game mode for league is now in open beta. And it's fun. Magnificently addicting. And well designed. But I'm not here to talk about dominion entirely.  My great aunty died this morning. Oh this post was written on the 24th of September. Because I have no idea when I'm going to get to post this. It's odd watching somebody who's at deaths door. Their reduced to just base instincts. Drive to escape pain. Hunger. Warmth. It's like watching an animal die. All it wants to do is escape the pain. So that says something for our instincts.  I was going to cleverly link this to the last paragraph but I'm not going to. Not because I'm to lazy just because I don't want to. I'm lonely. Every instinct I have is telling me to seek out company but I get away from the company and feel more alone than ever. My best friend told me to give my ex time but with the no Internet and no credit I feel incredibly alone. I want to talk because when I talk to her I feel safe. I have no idea why I just do. Maybe it's because she's never condemned me for things I did. Well there are circumstances to that but they're hard to explain, so I won't. I suddenly want a cuddly cat. One that will just sit with you and let you pat it. No active seeking of a pat or nuzzling or going away. That's hard to find because, well that's bit rare in a cat. There are plenty that do some of those.  I think I shall buy a Teddy bear. Something big enough to sleep with but small enough to carry comfortably, my ex's Teddy Harry being a prime example of this. Sometimes you need to feel like a child. I'm stoping short of having tea parties. Im neither a girl not that young.  Right now it sounds like a lawn mower has parked itself on my stomach. This cat always was kinda Cheshire. It doesn't smile but it's always purring. Stroke it once and it's happy. I've suddenly had the desire to make a roaring fire and curl up in front of it. Oh and the room has to be dark around it. That way you can watch the fires light make patterns as it writhes. Lots of people like fire, I'm just not sure if they spent their childhood watching the fire for so long they fell asleep in front of it. Never burnt me though, I'm very lucky in that regard.  My hair smells of strawberries. There was no conditioner so I had to use the strawberry scented shampoo and conditioner hybrid. I like my hair some days. The color is where things get a bit odd in the reasoning. I'd love to dye my hair but I get the feeling I've talked about this in an earlier post. My best friend read a book called Papertowns. Good book, wasn't a fan of the ending though. I'm clutching at straws here.  Here's something. I stopped doing as many blog entries because I stopped talking to my ex for a while. Because I wanted to know what she thought about how and what I thought. It also meant I didn't gave to explain some things when talking to her or my best friend. It made it easier. Now I don't know why I do it. Wishful thinking, take me back to those days maybe. Maybe I won't understand and maybe I will. I hope I do but it doesn't matter if I don't, not really. In the name of the Emperor, Finish this!