Hmm. Blog Blog Blog

So I posted writing just like I said I would. It's not great but it's better than a lot of the junk I've written before. I like "Steel Train", just like I thought I would. Sometimes I wonder if I'm getting predictable. Then I think no and listen to the same music I always do and eat the same food I always do and struggle with sleep the way I always do. Then I realize I am predictable. If not for me for my routine. And I do nothing about it which scares me a bit. I hate the idea of complacency and yet I live it. But even when I realized that the only thin I managed to do was shrug and write a blog. Not exactly striking out and living on the edge but hey I'll get there one day.

Or at least I hope I can.
Anyway my ex (I'm still on reasonably good terms with her) told me I should make a list of all the things I want to do in my life and try my hardest to do as much of the list I can. I've started the list but I've also realized something. The things people want to do change as they do. I'm not sure I want to go to the moon anymore despite the fact I desperately wanted to as a child. So If I stick rigidly to my list I'm going to end up doing things that won't make me happy. So the list has to fluid, in a state of flux. I think she knew that already and applied that to her list. It just took me a while to get that. Maybe I'm not as smart as I once was. Or maybe all this thinking is doing my head in. Still haven't got anywhere with the whole faith thing. I'm still not sure so I'm still thinking.

So here's the beginnings of the list.
1. Cook a three course meal.
2. Learn to use a broadsword.
3. Fire a clip from a semi-automatic weapon.
4. Find a friend I lost.
5. Go to Paris.
6. Learn to powerslide well.
7. Live in four different place for the four seasons.
8. Sail around the northern coasts of Australia.
9. Learn to play the guitar and write a song.
10. Go see Panic! At the Disco live.

Some of them are a bit expensive. Mostly 5, 7 and 8. But hey dream a little. There are some other things that would normally feature of the list but I removed them because I'm not sure about them any more. Already the list's changing. But so far this is the core.

Pray I could replace her and forget the way her tears taste.
This has no place here except for I was listening to the song when I wrote this. I'd like to say I pray for things. But first of all... my ex is irreplaceable. There will never be someone like that again. So I'm staying friends. Because she is literally the most amazing person I have ever met. And sometimes I think she forgets that. Not that she's the most amazing person I've ever met, I'm not exactly the most important thing in the grand scheme of things. But just that she's amazing. And forget the way her tears taste. Well I've never tasted her tears and I pray that I never have to. It's ironic. I have no idea where my faith is but still I pray for things. Except it's open ended. I have no idea where it's going. I have a feeling this paragraph is going to do more harm than good. But I'm leaving it in. Maybe I'll understand it myself one day.

No sign off. I left the old one behind a bit. So I'll toy with more sign offs. Today's sign off is.
Stay strong, stay brave, stay vigilant.

No idea where it came from but it'll do for now.